尼采已死

好幾年前在網路上，看到人家轉錄新加坡的教會聯合在報紙上登的廣告文案，內容相當有意思。今天台南妹問我有什麼文章可以分享，又想起這一篇，google了一下找到別處的轉貼，還是一樣讓人莞爾，所以貼到這邊來收藏起來。
先說，這些"God Campaign"跟路邊電線桿上摩門教貼的那些什麼「信耶穌得永生」、「天國近了」完全不是同一個等級。轉錄來源有中英對照，但是有些翻得不太順，所以放的是我自己修改之後的中譯。

1."What do I have to do to get your attention?
Take out an ad in the paper?" -- God
我要怎麼做才能引起你的注意？在報上登廣告嗎？ ─上帝

2."If I gave you everything you asked for,
where would you put it?" -- God
如果你求什麼我都給你，那你要放哪裡？ ─上帝

3."If you think the Mona Lisa is stunning,
you should look at my masterpiece. In the mirror." -- God
如果蒙娜麗莎讓你驚豔，你該看看我的傑作─就在鏡子裡！ ─上帝

4."Don't forget your umbrella,
I might water the plants today." -- God
記得帶傘，我今天可能會澆花。 ─上帝

5."If you miss the sunrise I made for you today,
never mind, I'll make you another one tomorrow." -- God
如果你錯過我今天幫你準備的日出，沒關係，我明天再幫你準備。 ─上帝

6."I hate rules. That's why I only made ten of them." -- God
我討厭規矩，所以我只訂了十條。 ─上帝

7."It's not the end of the world.
Not until I say so, anyway." -- God
這不是世界末日。反正要我說了才算。 ─上帝

8."Of course I have a sense of humour,
I gave you the platypus, didn't I?" -- God
我當然有幽默感，我不是給你們創造了鴨嘴獸嗎？ ─上帝

9."How can you possibly be a self-made man?
I specifically recall creating you." -- God
(這一條翻不出來，因為雙關語的關係，self-made也有白手起家的意思)

10."Nietzche is dead." -- God
尼采已死。 ─上帝